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I like glitter and sparkly dresses
but im not gonna talk about that
in my monologue
i like baking and things that smell like winter
but im not gonna talk about that
in my monologue
la la la la la la
i like writing songs about douche bags who cheat on me
but im not gonna say that
in my monologue
i like writing their names into song
so they're ashamed to go in public
but im not gonna say that
in my monologue
lala lalalalala
this is my musical monologue
you might think i'd bring up joe
that guy who broke up with me on the phone
but im not gonna mention him
in my monologue
hey joe im doin' real well
tonight im hosting snl
but im not gonna brag about that
in my monologue
lalala
hahaha
hahaha
hahaha
lalala
and if youre wondering if i might
be dating the werewolf from twilight
im not gonna comment on that
in my monologue
lala lalalalala
this is my musical monologue
you might be expecting me to say
something bad about kanye
of how he ran up on stage
and ruined my vma monologue
but there's nothing more to say
cause everything okay
i've got security lining the stage
this is my snl monologue
lala lalalalala
this is my snl monologue
lala lalalalala
that was my snl monologue
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