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There simply is no better man
Than good ol' David Letterman
And no one gets Julia Robertsâ face redder than
A flirty David Letterman
Heâs leaving after 30 years
And you know he will be missed
If you like gapped-toothed men in double-breasted suits
Heâs number one on your top-ten list
He wonât have to pick up the phone anymore
When Les Moonves calls him up
He might have to take Jay Leno out for coffee
Then secretly pee in his cup
Thereâs certainly no better man
Than good ol' David Letterman
And no one makes my mother wetter than
David Letterman
(Okay Mom, I told him, I hope youâre happy)
Seems like yesterday when I was 14
And you looked like a freshman at Ball State
Now your hairpiece is full of grey
And Iâm fucking 48
I canât believe at night when Iâm watching Stephen Colbert
Youâll be tucked in the bed under the sheets
Pets with stupid tricks will have no place to go
While Paul Schafer and the band sell crack on the streets
There simply is no better man
Than our hero David Letterman
I canât thank you enough for all youâve done
And Iâm sure I ainât the only one
âCause you paved for every late night show
Both Jimmys should get on their knees and blow
(You kisses, you kisses)
No more interviewing Heidi Klum or Cheryl Tiegs
Now youâre just the oldest dad at little league
And when you say goodbye and take your final drive
In your Ferrari full of stolen office supplies
And we watch you go with eyes full of tears
I hope the cops pull you over and drag you back over for 30 more years
âCause youâre the king of comedy
Our best friend on TV
And Iâll miss you
Yeah buddy Iâll miss you
The whole worldâs gonna miss you
David Letterman
- Album:
- What The Hell Happened To Me?
- Miscellaneous
- Covered, A Revolution In Sound
- Non-Album Releases
- The Bridge School Collection, Vol. 5 (Live)
- Funny People (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) [Bonus...
- Funny People (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack)
- The Wedding Singer, Volume 2
- The Wedding Singer, Vol. 2 (More Music from the Motion...
- The Wedding Singer (More Music From The Motion Picture)
- 50 First Dates
- 50 First Dates (Love Songs from the Original Motion Picture)
- Revolutions in Sound: Warner Bros. Records: The First...
- The Wedding Singer (Music from the Motion Picture)
- Triple JJJ Hottest 100: 1998
- Funny People
- Chrismukkah
- Phone Wallet Keys