We have the feeling some of you
Are feeling fairly sure
That all you really need to do
Is try to keep the law
You wish you knew for sure though
Can you break it once or twice
And still get into Heaven?
What you need is some advice
You need some legal expertise
And we provide just that
We are your humble servants
Messers Murgatroyd…
…and Pratt
The law is rather difficult
There's such a lot of it
Perhaps you haven't understood
Perhaps you are a twit
If you would live life by the law
You'd better heed our warning
The first mistake that you will make
Is waking in the morning
The moment the alarm goes off
You make a tiny slip
And by the time you're out of bed
You're in the Devil's grip
You can't be bad
…or sad
…or mad
…or rude
…or crude
…or greedy
You're not allowed to flash
Your cash
You give it to the needy
You're not allowed…
…to shun the crowd
You have to love them all
Especially if…
…they bore you stiff
And drive you up the wall
You mustn't steal
Or fight…
Or feel…
…embarrassed about your zits
Or go along to swimming pools
To look at naughty bits
Can you forgive your cousin Viv
And tell her so as well
Or stay with ancient Auntie May
Despite the horrid smell
And if you're lending anything
That you will surely miss
You're not allowed to want it back
For instance, lend me this.
And if you do do something right
It's no good saying, 'Well…'
'I am a little sunbeam now'
That's pride
You'll go to Hell
We hope that we've conveyed to you
The danger you are in
But please, you mustn't worry
No you mustn't! It's a sin
You see, you'll never keep the law
There's not a chance of that
We promise. You can take the word
Of Murgatroyd
And Pratt

SUBMIT CORRECTIONS