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Itâs all about sex
Evolutionâ¦
Itâs all about sex
Some people say my obsession with biodiversity
Is a sign of perversity, but I find that it nurtures me
Maybe itâs twisted, but I wonât give a lady a minute
Unless sheâs a Batesian mimic, does that make me a cynic?
Iâm into animal role-play, but fuck a barnyard
I want some praying mantis open-mandible cannibal foreplay
So read Dr. Tatiana if you need the basics
Sheâs deeper than the fuzzies you find creepinâ on craigslist
Plus sheâs got a message board, full of insectivores
Who are just itchinâ for it â sheâs like a sex thesaurus
I met a crab spider who was keen on finding a mate
Her turn-ons included binding and trying to escape
I met a gold-digger who told me fame was her weakness
So I paid her like a cockroach, with anal secretions
Yeah, Iâm nasty as I wanna be, jerkinâ off in front of females
Like juvenile marine iguanas on the beach
âCause Iâm packinâ a eight-inch corkscrew, Iâm a great fuck
I wanna spin it in like an Argentinian lake duck
Yeah, when natural selection reckons your sex practice
The best action is always found in the mismatches
Letâs make love like animals
I think you know what Iâm talkinâ about
Letâs make love exactly like other animals
Get your zoology textbook out
This one girl was quite freakish, I wasnât squeamish
But we simply couldnât fit it in - we tried to squeeze it
But she had a six-inch long clitoris like a hyenaâs
And I had a spiky inflatable damselfly penis
Ah, skip the spiderâs kiss of death
Just give me ten consecutive weeks of sex like stick insects
I make solid sperm plugs to try to block girls
But I hate when they pull it out and eat it like fox squirrels
Those are precious resources, Iâm really concerned
Humans only bust a couple of hundred million sperm
So we start to get depleted after the third shag
Octopus have ten billion in a massive sperm bag
And they die when they deposit it, thatâs just one way
Nature might try to persuade a guy to stay monogamous
But we must have missed something compared to our chimp cousins
âCause those chicksâll hit a dozen different studs and just love it
So I feel like Iâm overdressed for bonobo sex
All I need is a swollen vulva and a vocal âYes!â
No? Okay, instead Iâll marry my soul-mate
âTil death do us part, the prairie vole way
Letâs make love like animals
Itâs been happening since the stone age
Letâs make love exactly like other animals
Open up that wikipedia page
Letâs make love like angler fish
Itâs kind of complicated but itâs worth it
You use your highly developed olfactory sense
To swim towards me for several days
And then you bite me
And that releases an enzyme
That dissolves your face and your bones and your fins
Leaving only a pair of genitals attached
To the side of my body
For me to use when itâs convenient
- Album:
- Big Boy In Love
- The Canterbury Tales Remixed
- The Rap Guide to Evolution: Revised
- The Rap Guide to Business - EP
- The Rap Guide to Human Nature
- Rapconteur
- Apocalyptic Utopian Dreams In the Western Wilderness
- The Rap Guide to Evolution
- The Rap Canterbury Tales
- Lit Hop
- Swordplay
- The Rap Guide to Religion
- The Rap Guide to Medicine