Morticia: She's perky
Gomez: She's bubbly!
M: She's optimistic.
G: Where did we go wrong?
M: We taught her to hunt
G: We taught her to aim
M: We gave her a bow
G: We gave her no shame.
M: We gave what we had
G: Made sure she was bad
Both: Did all that we could to keep her sad
G: We told her to stay away from all that jazz
M: We gave her that week long trip to Alcatraz
G: We promised she'd be equipped
Both: And filled her crypt with woe
What did we know?
G: We took her to field rows in the morning mist
M: We took her to slaughter houses
G: Shindler's list
M: We taught her to scowl and sneer and domineer
G: and cure!
Both: So... What did we do? Where did we go wrong?
G: Are we good parents?
Both: Where did we go wrong?
M: Are we cliche?
Both: Somewhere in between, guilt and guillotine, we forgot to notice that our daughter lost her way!
Where did we go wrong?
M: And can we fix this?
G: Maybe it's a passing phase
Both: But if she's going wrong, then what will change her ways?
G: That's it! We cancel the dinner, bolt the doors!
M: We'll circle the wagons.
G: And give these goodylicious Beinekes the boot!
M: We must intervene
G: We shouldn't delay
M: She's barely eighteen!
G: So what do we say?
M: We know the occult!
G: That's certainly true.
M: We're here to consult.
G: Morticia, with you!
M: So why all the fuss?
G: My darling, discuss!
M: She needs only us!
G: It's us, only us!
M: We've always been there for her, to swear for her
G: Discourage them to care for her.
Both: Do well for her excel for her make all the living Hell for her!
So where did we go wrong is not the question!
Resolute and strong is our next move.
G: We'll tell her today
M: Do what we say
Both: Send all the Beinekes back to the fray!
Turn them away at first sight.
And that's where we'll go right!
No dinner tonight.

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