Bedlam Bards oh how the money rolls in

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My father makes counterfeit money,
My mother makes synthetic gin,
My sister sells kisses to sailors,
And oh how the money rolls in.
Chorus
Rolls in, rolls in, oh, how the money rolls in, rolls in.
Rolls in, rolls in, oh, how the money rolls in.
My brother's a slum missionary,
Out saving young lassies from sin.
For a shilling, he'll save you a redhead,
And oh, how the money rolls in.
Chorus
Grandma's a boarding house keeper,
She takes pretty working girls in.
She hangs a red light in the window,
And oh, how the money rolls in.
Chorus
Spoken by Hawke:
You know, Cedric,
I think that the next verse is a bit to risky for us to do.
Spoken by Cedric:
You're right about that. We should get our stunt doubles.
Hawke: You mean Tom O'Bedlam?
Cedric: Aye, and Billy Ray Joe Bob O'Bedlam.
Hawke: Aye, they're pretty much crazy enough
to do anything.
My grandpa makes cheap prophylactics,
He punctures the head with a pin.
[POP!]
Grandma, does back room abortions,
And oh, how the money rolls in.
Chorus
My father makes counterfeit money,
My mother makes synthetic gin,
My sister sells kisses to sailors,
And oh how the money rolls in.
Chorus

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