C: Yo... Waddup Doc? It's C.O.D. dude
(Hai),
I'm here to batter Battlefield back
to nineteen fourty-two,
So the entire world plays me
when its Game-Time,
B: Since when was a game's main
selling point was fish A.I.?
You're the least innovative of
game franchises,
Same game every year... What,
your fanboys got Alzheimer's?
Yeah... 'cos the way I see,
Every game since 0-4 coulda been
Did I say 0-4? I go further back in
You're based off the quake engine
from 1999!
Oh 1999? Shit-dawg! That's as old
as the song we stole this beat
C: Oh no Im losing rap battle man,
I'm failing, I'm Through-
Wait- oh yea I've have 70 million
more players than you,
And did you have a single-player
campaign I can't remember,
I don't quite understand how
people think you're a contender,
I've got Ghost, Soap, Price damn
such memorable men,
And you got hmmm, errr, wait-
uhhh who were they again?
B: Yo who cares about protagonists
AI Characters, it's all about the
multiplayer, real people, real
battles- Bitch!
C: Well nice try with Bad Company,
but no cigar,
B: Well I rather no cigar than no DICE,
and wow- talk about memorable,
what was your theme tune?
(Battlefield Tune)
My theme tune rules!
C: Oh you mean the one you stole
from Terminator 2?
B: You can take your perks, fool,
Circle jerk, too:
I'll aim with skill, knife up in your
grill- next
C: Well in my deathbed my grenade
will drop like Skrillex
C: I tried your game once,
logged on; spawned in it,
all the vehicles were taken,
so I walked for four minutes,
to get one-hit killed from a RPG
from some gay bitch,
then I got ran over by my team in a
So I rage quit!
B: Well I tried your game too,
it was really bad,
couldn't hear shit over the
screaming kids calling me a queer
fag (well you are)
By the time I was muted I was
Stuck in spawn, mince meat,
Cos a prestige 4 year old was on
a kiilllstreak,
Your matches suck,
It's just a violent bloodbath,
While I got more style than your
prices moustache,
C: Yo- where's your moustache
Battlefield I must ask,
B: My players don't need to
compensate for what they can't
and Graphic, ha Ghosts look
antique,
You call it next-gen,
I call it last week,
So fuck off, and go and find your
manhood,
Cos with Frostbyte 3, you know I
look damn good!
C: To play you, you need a beastly
DICE: wanna stop misleading your
geeks?
Not every gamers wallet and their
bank is so massive to afford a top-
spec PC to run with maximum
graphics,
And geez Battlefield, for an fps,
your fps sucks!
How many frames do your run per
second? 10? Well fuck!
B: Stop living in the past,
come to next gen,
we're the best then,
where we clock a hot 60fps man,
and 64 simultaneous players,
C: Well in this gen, you're only 24,
that's a failure to gamers
B: Well you got the static map design
that barely changes,
I'm all about the real battlefields,
big open spaces,
And explain how a game, that is
claiming to have, a realistic dog
could be such a fake Bitch!
C: This rap battle's not clever man,
It's audacious, when you got
Rihanna, and I got l Eminem on my
trailers,
And what do you got to offer next
then, dog?
Cos whatever it is, it's not as good
as my next gen dog!
He took a helicopter man, that's a
violent stray poochie!
B: Shit, was is this, a Michael Bayne
movie?
That's just a cut-scene from yiur
campaign! For me, that kinda shit
happens in- game!
So while I blow up a skyscraper,
Jihad a jeep,
while you use the same damn gun
week after week,
You are the killstreak in my land,
you pilot the plane, not call it in
from an earpiece and an iPad,
my Nan could do that, that's how it
seems to me,
C: Let me teach you a word:
Accessibility. Remember fun? Have
you played a game before? You
think you know battles, you can't
even beat me in the sales war!
Where are the most elitest fags are
killed? Dum Dum De Dum Dum,
only in Battlefield
B: Nah, you're all me me me, I'm
taking care of my team, let's settle
this like a man son!
C: Wait... why are we rapping? We
have guns
*Gunshots*

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