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And now the grand old opera theater proudly presents
a special holiday edition of the Adventures of the Kung Pao Buckaroos
Well, itâs a Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday
Whatever you do watch what you say
If youâre easily offended well thatâs okay
Itâs a completely non-offensive and politically correct holiday
We catch up with our three cowboys one cold
December night huddled around the camp fire.
How âbout we sing some holiday songs?
Yeah, hey George, you wanna lead us off?
Yeah, I got one.
Oh Chri-biip-mas tree oh Chri-biip-mas tree how lovely are thy branchesâ¦
Why am I getting blipped again?
Havenât you heard guys? You canât say Chri-biip-mas you gotta say Holiday
I canât say Chri-biip-mas?
No you might offend somebody.
Who is offended by Chri-biip-mas?
You know you might offend the biiiip and the biiiip and the atheists.
Time to politically correct.
Iâll lead this off.
On the first day of Chri-biip-mas my true love sent to meâ¦
Jimmy, are you listening?
You canât say Chri-biip-mas.
Why not?
You can say biiiip on the last record.
Why canât I say Chri-biip-mas?
I didnât make the rules.
Hey listen guys, itâs not that difficult,
all you gotta do is change Chri-biip-mas to Holiday.
You know, instead of saying white Chri-biip-mas, you say
Iâm dreaming of a whi-biiip Holiday.
Why did I get blipped?
Youâve got to say Caucasian.
So I have to sing, Iâm dreaming of a Caucasian holiday?
Sure, that wonât offend anybody.
Well, itâs a Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday,
Whatever you do watch what you say
If youâre easily offended well thatâs okay
Why do these people have to feel that way?
How come they get offended so easily?
Itâs a completely non-offensive and politically correct holiday
Iâm just trying to come up with a song here.
Letâs sing one together, everybody ready? George?
Ready.
Bill your ready?
Iâm ready.
Jimmy? Jimmy? Jimmy?
We three kings of biiiiiiiiip are bearing gifts weâve traveled really farâ¦.
Sorry boys, you have to say Asia now.
Oh, come on just try.
I've gotta get hyped up for this,
We three kings of Asia areâ¦.
That sounds like horse biiiip
Oh lord, okay. How âbout Little Drummer boy?
Nope, that offends short people.
And you canât say drummer âcause that will offend real musicians.
How âbout little âhahaha- town of Bethlehem?
Whatâs this with all the short jokes?
Hey how âbout we do Silent Night?
No, 'Cause it offends people hard of hearin' and afraid of the dark.
What did he say about a shark?
SHARK?
This happens every year.
Well, itâs a Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday,
Whatever you do watch what you say,
If youâre easily offended well thatâs okay,
Itâs a completely non-offensive and politically correct holiday.
Hohoho!
I canât say ho?
No you might offend some women.
So basically we canât sing anything?
I think that a bunch of bull biiiip.
Softer George itâs more effective.
I think that a bunch of bull biiiip.
You now what? I donât care who we offend,
Iâm gonna sing Chri-biip-mas carols if I wanna sing Chri-biip-mas carols.
Louder Bill itâs more effective.
I donât care who we offend,
Iâm gonna sing Chri-biip-mas carols if I wanna sing Chri-biip-mas carols.
Me too.
We wish you a merry Chri-biip-mas, we wish you a merry Chri-biip-mas,
we wish you a merry Chri-biip-mas, and a happy ne-biip year.
you canât say new; itâll offend the old folks.
And you better not offend them.
Yeeaahhh
- Album:
- Without a Fight (Single)
- Today (Single)
- Moonshine In The Trunk
- River Bank (Single)
- Wheelhouse
- This Is Country Music
- American Saturday Night
- Playlist: The Very Best Of Brad Paisley
- Play
- 5th Gear
- A Brad Paisley Christmas
- Cars OST
- Time Well Wasted
- Mud On The Tires
- Part II
- Who Needs Pictures
- Miscellaneous
- Non-Album Releases
- Today
- Country Sings Disney