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Donât you know me? Iâm your paperboy.
Throwing bundles of newspaper joy,
This neighborhoodâs a loony bin
Iâd rather throw the news in Compton
If you live here, youâre probably crazy
Lock your dog up, stop that baby!
Iâm on duty, itâs all about discipline
Please donât strike me with that rolling pin
I sometimes miss when I throw
Sorry I broke your window
Canât maneuver on a drainage ditch
Cars donât stop here, theyâll just hit a bitch
Canât stop riding, itâs just what I do
My bike pedals are glazed with superglue
Iâm on my bike, perpetually
I lay in bed, bike lays with me
On this side street, rules are strict and tight
New subscribers, paint your house white
I have nightmares, shaking at the wheel
Then I wake up and do it for real
Now faulty aim may occur, sorry I threw the paper at a car and killed your father
Now itâs Sunday, I am done, Iâm out
Fuck these nutbags, fuck this paper route
Iâm gonna get a job at Wal-mart.