Of all the places in the world you'd choose to be
If you're here early, we'll go out and find a tree
I'm sharpening the axe
We'll drag it home behind us for to cover up our tracks
What else would you do, there couldn't possibly
Be anything worth watching on TV
You know there never is
Just children's choirs and candle fires and other yuletide fears
I've never seen snow
This side of celsius is all I'll ever know
We're just happy for the slightest breeze to blow
And wind-up teeth that chatter
Everyone's drunk by twelve o'clock
By then it doesn't matter
Complete mad confusion in the shopping centre
I'll meet you at the centre and we'll run
And point our rayguns at the pagans
Now that you're far from home and living family
Maybe it's just as you imagined it to be
If you ever needed proof
These paper walls could never hold a reindeer on the roof

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