Countdown, get ready for the blast off
And don't forget the hype, we're going into space
Distinguished scientists
A pesky senator
And monkey turds leaking from the lab
All brought to us play by play by Howard Cosell
You're going where no man has gone before
Don't ask us where that is, we have no idea
You're chosen for this great mission
Because we owe you some favors
And besides, you're bright, a little too bright
Step one, senator, your vomit
It's time to analyze it for the folks back home
Open the hatch
Launch the war satellite
That the commies aren't supposed to know about
Our real challenge is to keep it a secret from the press back home
You're going where no man has gone before
Don't ask us where that is, we have no idea
You're chosen for this great mission
Because you're healthy and strong and make a lot of fuss
Especially around us, we like you better when you're far away
Have you noticed you're going the wrong direction?
We have but that's your problem, we planned it that way
We had to dispose of all of you so we can spoil the final frontier
How dare you question our Star Wars plans for the farce that they are?
You're going where no man has gone before
For rocking the boat in our temple of doom
You're on a one-way ticket to Pluto
We wash our hands of you and your lost ark
So don't forget to write, no no no no no no no no no
Have you heard about the latest craze
That's sweeping across the nation
All the punks from coast to coast
Have discovered an old invention
Your hair's too long, man, you're a queer
You're too new wave, put down that beer
Do the slag, look at 'em run
Do the slag, hey, you scum
Do the slag, ain't it fun?
Do the slag, let's all be dumb
Badmouth the people we don't know
Make sure it's behind their backs
Don't let new people in our scene
It's more fun than having a friend
We'll slag everyone each and every night
So we can pretend that we're all right
Make those pricks feel just so small
We'll show the world we're three feet tall
Slander their integrit, doubt their humanity
Talk about their haircuts, are their politics correct?
Do the slag, look at 'em run
Do the slag, hey, you scum
Do the slag, ain't it fun?
Do the slag, let's all be dumb
Don't let those sissies on the floor
They're unhip, man, they brought the wrong clothes
Let's all do the latest craze
'Cause having allies never pays
Slander their integrity, doubt their humanity
Talk about their haircuts, are their politics correct?
Do the slag, look at 'em run
Do the slag, hey, you scum
Do the slag, ain't it fun?
Do the slag, let's all be dumb
Do the slag, look at 'em run
Do the slag, hey, you scum
Do the slag, ain't it fun?
Do the slag, let's all be dumb

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