I was going to call you
I guess I must have forgot
And I was gonna invite you
To my favorite spot
I forgot our anniversary
Your birthday and Valentines too
I’m as disappointed as you are in me
You were the best I could do
Just to disappoint (you further)
Just to let you down (even further)
I didn’t care enough
You didn’t matter sufficiently
Each time that I think of you
I get distracted by something more interesting
People say I’m a loser
But what does that make you?
Your mother calls me pedantic
But she’s a big fat Jew (a rotund Hebrew)
I dozed off reading your suicide note
I had no empathy
I’m as disappointed as you are in me
You can’t compete with my apathy
It would break my heart in two
If anyone else should ever hurt you
More than me, can’t you see
If I was dying of thirst
You would be my first choice
Darling, sweet love of mine
Just to disappoint (you further)…

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