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Four score and 65 years in the past
I won the Civil War with my beard
Now Iâm here to whup your ass
Iâve read up on your facts
You cure cancer with your tears?
Well, tell me Chuck how come you never sat down and cried on your career?
Youâre a washed up has been on TV selling Total Gyms
And youâre gonna lose this battle
Like you lost Return of the Dragon
Iâll rip your chest hairs out
Put emâ in my mouth
Iâll squash you like I squashed the South
I never told a lie
And I wonât start now
Youâre a horse with a limp
Iâll put you down
This isnât Gettysburg, punk
Iâd suggest retreating
For I invented rap music
When my heart started beating
Chuck Norris doesnât battle
He just allow you to lose
My raps will blow your mind like a verbal John Wilkes Booth
Iâve got my face on the side of a mountain
You voted for John McCain
Iâve got a bucket full of my head and Iâm about to make it rain
You block bullets with your beard?
I catch emâ with my skull
Iâd make fun of Walker, Texas Ranger but Iâve never ever seen that show
I am Chuck Fucking Norris!
Iâve spread more blood and gore
Than forty score of your puny Civil Wars, bitch
I split the Union with a roundhouse kick
I wear a black belt on the beard that I grow on my dick
I attack sharks when I smell them bleed
I don't go swimming
Water just wants to be around me
My fists make the speed of light wish that it was faster
You may have freed the slaves
But Chuck is everyoneâs master