I heard her footsteps down the hallway
I heard the door slam at the crack of dawn
She laid tracks in my purple Cadillac
She was gone, gone, gone, gone, gone
She left a note on the kitchen table
Explaining her point of view
I put on a strong pot of coffee
Then I sat down on the porch to read her note
Dear Carl
I am leaving you today
I am never coming back this way
You can have the house
And everything in it
I’m finally fed up boy I’m finished
I’m sick of feedin’ the chickens
Cookin' your dinner
Washin’ the dishes
Sewin’ your britches
Pickin’ up your underwear
Doin' your laundry
I’m tired of waitin' up nights
Cryin’ my eyes out
Looking for your headlights
Wonderin’ if you’re alright
And now, this mornin’, I found a grey hair
So I’m packin’ my bags
I’m leavin’ the laundry
You can have your ring back
It’s somewhere out in the yard
You say you love me
You never stay home
We don’t go dancin’ anymore
I’m young and I’m pretty
I’m movin' to the city
Goin' to find a good man who’ll treat me right
Honey, I’m layin’ tracks!
Signed...your soon to be ex-wife,
Donna Jean
Oh God in heaven
What shall I do
I see now I’ve been such a fool
My Donna Jean, she’s gone and left me
I’ve been wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong
Then the sky turned black
The thunder cracked
The clouds split open
I saw a blinding light
There he was, white as a ghost
In a regular human voice god spoke
Dear Carl
She is leaving you today
She may never come back this way
You’ve got some problems
But I’ll tell ya how to solve 'em
Listen carefully son
Here is what you’ll do
Get rid of them chickens
Buy yourself a cookbook
Help with the dishes
Learn how to sew
Pick-up your own dirty drawers
And get yourself a Maytag
Stop actin’ like a jerk
Come home after work
Tell her that she’s pretty
Take her dancin’ in the city
Soon as you can, get her to a beauty salon
Now, get off your butt
Get in that truck
Go after that woman
And with any luck
You’ll find the purple Cadillac
Stranded by the side of the road
If you find Donna Jean
Get down on your knees
Mention my name
Beg her please, please
Promise, promise, promise to change your ways
Then take her gently by the hand
Let her know you understand
If she has to go, there’s the open road
But you’ll always, always, always be her man
You will always, always, always, always, always.
Always, always try to understand
You will always, always, always, always,
Always always, always, always, always..
Be a man

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