You should have felt within yourself, a new perception, a new outlook, hungry for knowledge, growing & seeking in yourself what he will never find. You refused to believe it, physically holding back what had no place in you, what you didn't want to see, who should never have been there. To be there. We will never again see two people, free of a blade incision. The extraction will still take place, shrill screams filling your soul, leaving your eyes dry, not a tear. Him, coming out of this lair soaked in alcohol, in smoke, already stained with your impure blood, his first sensation weighing like a vision, an impression, the madness behind the walls. You will never breastfeed him, everything that could hold you to him was nothing, leaving this seed thrown to the ground unconsciously, to develop like gangrene not thinking that through childhood , the life of a being is determined. However, you had to embody the visceral link between this celestial womb & its cursed contents. Do you know what a life can be like to endure, nourished by the roots of a lethal love, to believe that you are going to come? Cries, violence & lack of respect for being can only lead to unhappiness, to bitter resentment, always so present. Since forgiveness cannot be envisaged, only violent revenge, a discharge of everything bad, unhealthy, deep in the subconscious, could make it possible to no longer think of the dark memories that corrupt my mind. flesh making me a little sicker every day. My feet get bogged down, my mind follows them. I get lost. Immerse your hands in my white tears, swim in a swirl of abominations, ugliness, carnage. Taste in my mouth, the bitter aroma of boredom. All these tortures that haunt my nights. Hear with my hearing, these melancholy notes, my gnashing of teeth, this symbolic music. Look into my eyes, a troubled vision of the true face of the anguished, tortured man, touch, with my hands, your damp cheeks. Soft, fragrant skin that will end up putrid. Feel this liquid which hits your temples, reddens my eyes, but nevertheless, nourishes the heart of the infant like that of the old man embracing you in the flesh, the bumps, the hollows. You can perceive it, feel it streaming, it's no longer worth believing. No, I can't forget! No, I don't want to forget anymore! A deep imbalance floats inside me, wide-eyed, glassy. I must be torn, I don't really know what I'm doing anymore. Your face is swollen. What can I say, not much, it all had to happen. The important thing, ultimately, is to burst the abscess, scream, externalize, bury yourself in pieces. The thick & hot blood galvanizes my hands. My heart, on the ground, takes the path that leads to the horror of a morbid excitement, the shining eyes, the matricidal look. Tonight you lied to me again... You said you'd be home early. But the dirt in your throat makes me believe that now you won't come back. I build abyss, it's so beautiful, when it's deep inside the skin. How I love your sweet squinting gaze... It's so beautiful when I smash your brain.

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