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I am the very model of a modern Major-General,
I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical
From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical;
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,
About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news,
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.
I'm very good at integral and differential calculus;
I know the scientific names of beings animalculous:
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.
I know our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's;
I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox,
I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus,
In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous;
I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies,
I know the croaking from The Frogs of Aristophanes!
Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore,
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.
Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform,
And tell you ev'ry detail of Caractacus's uniform:
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.
In fact, when I know what is meant by mamelon and ravelin,
When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle from a Javelin,
When such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more wary at,
And when I know precisely what is meant by commissariat
When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery,
When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery
In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy
You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee.
For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury,
Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century;
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.
- Album:
- The Very Best of Gilbert & Sullivan
- The Ultimate Gilbert and Sullivan
- The Mikado (The English National Opera)
- H.M.S, Pinafore Part I
- Gilbert & Sullivan Weekend
- World of Gilbert & Sullivan
- The Gold Collection
- Favourite Gilbert and Sullivan
- The Pirates of Penzance (1983 film cast)
- The Mikado: Highlights From the English National Opera...
- Gilbert & Sullivan Spectacular
- Highlights from "The Mikado" (English National Opera...
- Ballads, Songs & Snatches: Vintage Gilbert & Sullivan
- Gilbert & Sullivan Overtures
- The Pirates of Penzance (1967 D’Oyly Carte cast)
- Gondoliers
- The Gondoliers (1991 D’Oyly Carte cast)
- Opera for People Who Hate Opera
- The Best of Gilbert and Sullivan (D’Oyly Carte Opera...