Poor Master Bruce, poor Mr. Wayne
Lonely caboose on a one car train
And it pains me to watch you amble along
This track of loneliness I laid down for you
I remember that horrible night
The night you were split in two
And I swore I'd protect you (and I haven't)
So I built a wall all around you, but the wall was too tall
And it blocked out all
Like the birds and the sun
I tried to raise you right, I tried to raise you proper
I tried to be a mentor and a friend, and a mama and a papa too
I'd insulate you from any outside source of fright
And make bloody certain that you'll never see another
Dark, sad, lonely night
When I look at my life I see something's not right
Like a thousand percent
And I wonder what it is, how it is that it's always just me here
Crying alone at the end of the night, a ten thousand percent
I put most of the blame on Alfred
How come he couldn't take the bullet intended for mama and papa?
I never had a pony
I never had pets
Just a bullshit butler, who builds bullshit jets
Oh! I'm falling apart, I need a friend
Somebody to hold on to
Somebody to confide in
Think of the children, next time you gun down their mama and papa
Their only mama and papa
Because they probably don't have another mama and papa
I was seein' a girl for a while, a couple days anyway
And I told her I loved her
She said you're such a good friend and that rash is bad
You should probably go see a doctor.
Then she just disappeared, sent me some text about bad timing
And my love being selfish
Then my doctor called up and the blood came back and as it turns out
I'm allergic to peanuts and shellfish
I loved peanuts and shellfish once
I'm falling apart, I'm lacking punch
I can barely eat
This morning I barely touched my brunch
Two spoons of oatmeal, a couple of nuts, and half a banana
And like my soul, the banana was bruised and black
I'm falling apart, I need a friend
Somebody to hold on to, somebody to confide in
Somebody to ride in the cockpit
Co-captain of the friendship ship
Or maybe just the friendship
But if I had a buddy, we could discuss
Just what we call friendship
I wanna be somebody's buddy
Somebody who could be my buddy back
I wanna be somebody's buddy
Anybody but a dumbshit butler
I wanna be somebody's buddy
Somebody who could be my buddy back
I wanna be somebody's buddy
Anybody but a dumbshit butler
I wanna be somebody's buddy
Somebody who could be my buddy back
I wanna be somebody's buddy
Anybody but a bumbling butler
I wanna be somebody's buddy
Somebody who could be my buddy back
I wanna be somebody's buddy
Anybody but a dumbshit butler
I wanna be somebody's buddy
Somebody who could be my buddy back
I wanna be somebody's buddy
Anybody but a bumbling butler
I wanna be somebody's buddy
Somebody who could be my buddy back
I wanna be somebody's buddy
Anybody but a dumbshit butler
I wanna be somebody's buddy
Somebody who could be my buddy back
I wanna be somebody's buddy
Anybody but a bumbling butler
I wanna be somebody's buddy
Somebody who could be my buddy back
I wanna be somebody's buddy

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