This time last year
At the laboratory Christmas party, down the Wetherspoons
I gave you my heart
But it's not like that song by Wham, no ma'am, I promise
You could have given it away, the very next day and
I wouldn't mind
You could have sneaked into my chest, made a cardiac arrest and
That would be fine
Well, it's been a year
And I'm still working here, even though I said I wouldn't be and
My crush on you is crushing me and
Like the coke machine in the canteen, I'm empty inside
Last week I asked to borrow a test tube
Just to feel your hand in mine
Tonight I'll stop this charade, ask you to dance with me to Slade
And hope you'll say… Fine
Last year I said Hi, my names Geoff"
You said "Hi, my names Monica and
I said Hi again and pretended like I didn't already know your name
But I did
You didn't have to pretend because you genuinely didn't know my name and
I tried to impress you by giving you my drink tokens and
You used your drink tokens to buy yourself double vodkas
Then you used my drink tokens to buy yourself double vodkas and then
At 1am we tried to leave and
You threw up in the corner of the car park
You said it was cool to share a taxi home but when I tried to get in your friend Sue said there wasn't enough room but there was definitely one seat next to you
But Sue works in protein folding so I suppose she knows about that sort of thing
You nodded at me as the taxi drove off
Although you might just have been nodding generally because you were losing consciousness at that point
That's the thing I like about you, Monica
You're so dignified
Now the party's here
Why does the internet always lie?
You've been given a promotion
You don't want my drink token
I think my heart is broken
I wish I had never spoken to you
At last year's laboratory Christmas party

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