Do you wanna go down the open mic
And sing a song like this?
This guy Brett’s got amazing dreads
Grew them in Mali all over his head
He’s so very awesome on the bongo drums
Made out of rubbish from a Kenyan slum
My mate Jeane’s in the Bristol Scene
I think she’s a punk because she
Dyes her hair green
She’s getting very well-known
Her song’s on an advert for Vodafone
Do you wanna go down the open mic
And sing a song like this?
This guy Ben’s got some famous friends
Like Peaches Geldof and Vampire Weekend
Sings songs about the Afghan war
I’d go and introduce you
If you weren’t so poor
Do you wanna go down the open mic
And sing a song like this?
Do you wanna go down the open mic
And suck my fucking dick?

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