For fifteen years, I've played a waiting game
I've suffered like they do in Russian plays
But if what's in store is really what they claim
I must admit that suffering really pays
For fifteen years, I've been just like a prisoner in a cell
For fifteen years, my life has been just awful
From one to four was such a bore
I remember how I hated having all those people
Paw all over me and talk, baby, talk
They'd say goo-goo, isn't she cunning?
Poor dear, she has her father's nose
Ah-tic-a-tic-a-tic-a-tic-a-tic-a
The years from five to eight I hate
I've grown into a very unattractive child
And consequently was utterly and completely ignored
But I didn't really mind, I had a book of Mother Goose
And Mother Goose is pretty
Hot stuff when you're five years old
At nine, I had the measles so that didn't count
At ten, I'd reached the performing stage
And at the drop of a hat mother would call me in
And have me sing the rosary for her guest
I never will forget how papa used to squirm
When I hit that high note
From eleven to thirteen, I'd rather not speak of
It was bad enough having Jimmy Doogan pull my hair in school
But it was positively humiliating to have
My own mother refer to me as her dear little ugly duckling
At fourteen, I had my first taste of romance
It was at a party at dancing school
And he was younger than I was, shorter than I was
Oh, but he had a wonderful name, Archibold
And he really like me too, he really did
But I had to go and spoil it all
I asked him right out if he'd be my best beau
That was the last I ever saw of him
By now I was fifteen and pretty miserable
Mother refused to let me wear any lipstick or rouge
And I went around looking as pale as death
It was then that I decided to join the monastery
And I would have too, if it hadn't been for Bing Crosby
I was afraid they wouldn't have any radios in monasteries
So, I devoted my fifteenth year to Kraft cheese
But now it's a different story, I can brush away the tears
And laugh at those awful fifteen years
For now I'm sweet sixteen and I've got my first long dress
I can even have a date one night a week
I can paint my lips a little and rouge my cheeks
I'm sweet sixteen but I really must confess
Although this grown up life isn't simple
I wouldn't change places with Shirley Temple
Gee, it's great to be just as free as the birds above me
I'm a Juliet out to get a Romeo to love me
I ask you, please forget that I was an in-between
I mean my flags unfurled, I'm a woman of the world
I'm sweet sixteen

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