Once again I'm a little depressed
By the tired old face that I see
Once again it is time to be someone
Who's anyone other than me
With the rare combination
Of girlish excitement and manly restraint
I position my precious assortment
Of pencils and powders and paint
So whenever I feel that my place
In the world is beginning to crash
I apply one great stroke of mascara
To my rather limp upper lash
And I can cope again
Good God, there's hope again
When life is a real bitch again
And my old sense of humor has up and gone
It's time for the big switch again
I put a little more mascara on
When I count my crow's feet again
And tired of this perpetual marathon
I put down the John-seat again
And put a little more mascara on
And everything's sparkle dust
Bugle beads, ostrich plums
When it's a beaded lash
That you look through
'Cause when I feel glamorous
Elegant, beautiful
The world that I'm looking
At's beautiful too
When my little road has a few bumps again
And I need something level to lean upon
I put on my sling pumps again
And wham, this ugly duckling is a swan
So when my spirit starts to sag
I hustle out my highest drag
And put a little more mascara on
And everything's ankle straps, Maribou, Shalimar
It's worth socking in my gut and girdling my rear
'Cause everything's ravishing, sensual, fabulous
When Albin is tucked away and ZaZa is here
When everything slides down the old tubes again
And when my self esteem has begun to drift
I strap on my fake boobs again
And literally give myself a lift
So when it's cold and when it's bleak
I simply rouge the other cheek
For I can face another day
In slipper satin lingerie
To make depression disappear
I screw some Rhine stones on my ear
And put my brooches and tiara
And a little more mascara on
Sparkle dust, bugle beads
Ankle straps, Maribou
Ostrich plumes, Shalimar
Ravishing, fabulous, on

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