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Now only an expert can deal with the problem
Because half the problem is seeing the problem
And only an expert can deal with the problem
Only an expert can deal with the problem
So if thereâs no expert dealing with the problem
Itâs really actually twice the problem
Cause only an expert can deal with the problem
Only an expert can deal with the problem
Now in America we like solutions
We like solutions to problems
And thereâs so many companies that offer solutions
Companies with names like Pet Solution
The Hair Solution. The Debt Solution. The World Solution. The Sushi Solution.
Companies with experts ready to solve the problems.
Cause only an expert can see thereâs a problem
And only an expert can deal with the problem
Only and expert can deal with the problem
Now letâs say youâre invited to be on Oprah
And you donât have a problem
But you want to go on the show, so you need a problem
So you invent a problem
But if youâre not an expert in problems
Youâre probably not going to invent a very plausible problem
And so youâre probably going to get nailed
Youâre going to get exposed
Youâre going to have to bow down and apologize
And beg for the publicâs forgiveness.
Cause only an expert can see thereâs a problem
And only an expert can deal with the problem
Only an expert can deal with the problem
Now on these shows, the shows that try to solve your problems
The big question is always âHow can I get control?
How can I take control?â
But donât forget this is a question for the regular viewer
The person whoâs barely getting by.
The person whoâs watching shows about people with problems
The person whoâs part of the 60
of the U.S. population
1.3 weeks away, 1.3 pay checks away from homelessness.
In other words, a person with problems.
So when experts say, âLetâs get to the root of the problem
Letâs take control of the problem
So if you take control of the problem you can solve the problem.â
Now often this doesnât work at all because the situation is completely out of control.
Cause only an expert can deal with the problem
Only an expert can deal with the problem
Only an expert can deal with the problem
So who are these experts?
Experts are usually self-appointed people or elected officials
Or people skilled in sales techniques, trained or self-taught
To focus on things that might be identified as problems.
Now sometimes these things are not actually problems.
But the expert is someone who studies the problem
And tries to solve the problem.
The expert is someone who carries malpractice insurance.
Because often the solution becomes the problem.
Cause only an expert can deal with the problem
Only an expert can deal with the problem
Only an expert can deal with the problem
Now sometimes experts look for weapons.
And sometimes they look everywhere for weapons.
And sometimes when they donât find any weapons
Sometimes other experts say, âIf you havenât found any weapons
It doesnât mean there are no weapons.â
And other experts looking for weapons find things like cleaning fluids.
And refrigerator rods. And small magnets. And they say,
âThese things may look like common objects to you
But in our opinion, they could be weapons.
Or they could be used to make weapons.
Or they could be used to ship weapons.
Or to store weapons.â
Cause only an expert can see they might be weapons
And only an expert can see they might be problems.
Cause only an expert can deal with the problem
Only an expert can deal with the problem
Only an expert can deal with the problem
And sometimes, if itâs really really really hot.
And itâs July in January.
And thereâs no more snow and huge waves are wiping out cities.
And hurricanes are everywhere.
And everyone knows itâs a problem.
But if some of the experts say itâs no problem
And other experts claim itâs no problem
Or explain why itâs no problem
Then itâs simply not a problem.
But when an expert says itâs a problem
And makes a movie and wins an Oscar about the problem
Then all the other experts have to agree that it is most likely a problem.
Cause only an expert can deal with the problem
Only an expert can deal with the problem
Only an expert can deal with the problem
And even though a county can invade another country.
And flatten it. And ruin it. And create havoc and civil war in that other country
If the experts say that itâs not a problem
And everyone agrees that theyâre experts good at seeing problems
Then invading that country is simply not a problem.
And if a country tortures people
And holds citizens without cause or trial and sets up military tribunals
This is also not a problem.
Unless thereâs an expert who says itâs the beginning of a problem.
Cause only an expert can deal with the problem
Only an expert can deal with the problem
Only an expert can deal with the problem
Only an expert can see thereâs a problem
And see the problem is half the problem
And only an expert can deal with the problem
Only an expert can deal with the problem
- Album:
- Heart of a Dog
- Miscellaneous
- Homeland
- United States Live
- Sixty-Five Minutes In London: Deep Space Jam On Alien...
- Rock rEvolution, Vol. 4
- Smash Hits 1981
- Live in New York
- Big Science
- O Superman
- Big Science EP
- La guerre est déclarée
- Bright Red
- Talk Normal: The Laurie Anderson Anthology
- Strange Angels
- Mister Heartbreak
- The Ugly One With the Jewels and Other Stories
- Live At Town Hall In New York City
- Home of the Brave (Live)
- Visionaire No. 53: Sound