I can search low and high
Just for the perfect guy
But in the end it doesn't matter who I choose
'Cause I've got daddy issues
I've got daddy issues
Dad cheated on mom
Now mom hates dad
So I just keep thinking every man is bad
Never trust a guy, mom would always say
The good ones are old, married or ga-a-ay
When I was young I had no father who coddled
My only comfort comes now from a whiskey bottle
Explains those wild, crazy, stupid teenage years
So full of booze, sex, drugs and te-e-ears
There's just no other excuse
I got daddy issues
(Daddy issues)
My self-image has flown way past the border
I think this is called Body Dysmorphic Disorder
And the truth is
I could nab a great guy
But I'm drawn to the ones who just
(Ow!) toss me aside
I attract douchebags, but that's what you get
For posing half naked on the internet
If I don't think I deserve a winner
I'll end up with a jerk from Tinder
My private problems aren't big news
I'd gladly face 'em, but I'd much rather booze
(Glug glug glug glug)
Still I'm feeling at a loss
How will I know when Mr. Right comes across?
Maybe it's better if I swear off men
Spend some time on myself
Or just go lesbian
But lez be honest
Gay's not for me
I kinda hate chicks
But sure love the D
I'm not gonna go
Jump off the deep end
Gonna focus on me
Me and my electric frie-e-e-end!
(Get it? 'Cause it's a vibrator)

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