If she were coming home, I wouldn't have another drink
If she were coming home, I'd do the dishes piled in my sink
And I'd hang up all my shirts
And pick my dirty socks up off the floor
But she's not coming home, anymore
If she were coming back, I would tidy up the place
If she were coing back, there's a chance i might even shave my face
And I'd throw on that cologne she gave me at Christmas time last year
But she's not coming back, not here
It isn't like I need women to make me do every single chore
I just need someone to do all those little things for
If she were on her way, I'd pop that champagne we have on ice
If she were on her way, I'd get our kitchen table looking nice
And I'd make her favorite meal
Or whatever it would take to make her stay
But she's not coming home,
and she's not coming back,
and she's not on her...

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