SHREK (voice over):
Once upon a time, there was a little ogre named Shrek,
who lived with his parents in a bog by a tree.
It was a pretty nasty place but he was happy because ogres like nasty.
On his birthday the little ogre’s parents sat him down
to talk just as all ogre parents had for hundreds of years before.
MOTHER OGRE:
Listen son, you’re growing up so quickly
Growing up, bigger by the day
FATHER OGRE:
Although we want you here, the rules are very clear
MOTHER OGRE:
Now you’re seven
FATHER OGRE:
Now you’re seven
OGRE PARENTS:
So it’s time to go away
FATHER OGRE:
Your Mama packed a sandwich for your trip
MOTHER OGRE:
Your Papa packed your boots in case of snow
OGRE PARENTS:
You’re gonna make us proud, no backing up allowed
MOTHER OGRE:
Just keep walking
FATHER OGRE:
Just keep hawking
OGRE PARENTS:
And you’ll find somewhere to go
It’s a big, bright, beautiful world
With happiness all around
It’s peaches and cream
And every dream comes true
But not for you
It’s a big, bright, beautiful world
With possibilities everywhere
And just around the bend
There’s a friend or two
But not for you
MOTHER OGRE:
We’re ugly son which means that life is harder
People hate the things they cannot understand
FATHER OGRE:
And when they look at us they tend to make a fuss
MOTHER OGRE:
Burn our houses down
FATHER OGRE:
And chase us
OGRE PARENTS:
Off our land
FATHER OGRE:
It’s important that you find a cozy cesspit
MOTHER OGRE:
A place no one would ever dare to tread
OGRE PARENTS:
And if they happen by, make sure you terrify them
MOTHER OGRE:
If you don’t son
FATHER OGRE:
If you don’t son
OGRE PARENTS:
Then you’ll surely wind up dead
MOTHER OGRE:
Goodbye
FATHER OGRE:
Goodbye
MOTHER OGRE:
Watch out for men with pitchforks
SHREK (voice over):
And so, the little ogre went off and found a muddy patch of swamp land far,
far away from the world that despised him.
There he stayed for many years,
tucked away and all alone, which was just the way he liked it.
SHREK:
Keep your big, bright, beautiful world
I’m happy where I am, all alone
I’ve got all I need
So read the stinkin’ sign, haha
Keep your big, bright, beautiful world
I party on my own anyway
Doing what I can with a one man conga line
Yeah, your big, bright, beautiful world
Is all teddy bears and unicorns
Take your fluffy fun
And shove it where the sun don’t shine
I prefer a life like this
It’s not that complicated
Sure I’m fated to be lonely
And I’m destined to be hated
If you read the books they say
That’s why I was created
But I don’t care
Coz being liked
Is grossly overrated
Who needs a big, bright, beautiful world
I’ve got my own little patch on the world
It’s not a big, bright, beautiful world
But it’s mine
Alone, it’s mine
And it’s mine
All mine!

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