MAYA: So... would it be okay if I stayed here for awhile?
PHOENIX: You mean, in this office?
MAYA: Well, you know, I'd work here.
PHOENIX: So you're applying for a job. Well, okay...
Do you have any prior experience working in a law firm?
MAYA: Nope!
PHOENIX: Did you perhaps study some
of the techniques your sister used?
MAYA: Not a bit!
PHOENIX: Do you have any knowledge at all about law?
MAYA: None whatsoever!
PHOENIX: Maya!
I'm starting to wonder what exactly you can do for me...
MAYA: Oh, lots of things!
I'll water Charley each time you forget,
I'd clean the litter if you had a pet.
I'll keep the couch warm whenever you're gone,
And sometimes, I may mow the lawn!
PHOENIX: [spoken] What lawn?
MAYA (PHOENIX):
I promise your remote won't gather dust,
And that your TV trays never will rust.
I don't need gratitude, or a high pay, (Great.)
Just feed me four meals every day! (What? OBJECTION!)
And...
I'll be there when you need a friend; I'll be there to support you
And in the courtroom,
I'll help you defend, every time they outsmart you! (Hey...)
I'll provide a pleasant mood, all that we have, we can share:
You'll lend your money, your home and your food,
And it's true that for you, I'll be there!
Sounds like a nice arrangement, eh, Nick?
PHOENIX: Well...
MAYA: Oh, and that's not all I can provide!
MAYA/(PHOENIX):
With me around you'll have nothing to fear,
(Maya, I, uh)
I'll be your watchdog when burglars are near.
(Don't quite know what to say.)
They'll stay away or else I'll make 'em pay,
(I'm a decent lawyer,)
'Cause nobody fights like a Fey!
(But fatherhood's not my forte)
Nick, this clicks, it's
(As a caretaker, well frankly, I reek)
Going to work out okay!
(I had a goldfish -- it died in a week)
Keep an open mind,
(I babysat poorly way back in the day...)
If there's a will, there's a way!
(They paid me to keep me away)
PHOENIX: I can't see myself undertaking this task,
So please don't think I'm a jerk...
MAYA: To have you around is the one thing I ask,
And I've got a hunch this is going to work!
Now wait a minute... are you asking to live here, in the office?
MAYA: Haha, of course not!
I'm not sleeping here--that'd just be weird.
I'm only going to be working...
and maybe spending all my free time here. You know,
watching your TV, eating your food, that sort of thing...
PHOENIX: That's not exactly sweetening the deal.
MAYA: Well, there is one other reason: this note.
I found it in my stuff a couple weeks ago.
Mia must've slipped it in last time I visited. Here.
PHOENIX: If anything should bite, take care of Phoenix for me.
MAYA: She must have known how risky her pursuit of Redd White was.
PHOENIX: So she trusts us to watch out for each other...
MAYA: Yes. And the truth is...
Since Mia passed on, I've felt all alone and torn up inside.
All hope was lost, and I had no shoulder to cry on.
Then you came along, and I feel like I'm home when you're at my side!
I deeply needed someone that I could rely on.
And if you're with me, we'll make it through,
Anytime and anywhere!
I can stay strong and I'll show that it's true,
Just as long as I know you'll be there!
PHOENIX: Well, I'm convinced. We can give it a shot.
Make sure you give everything that you've got.
So I'll see you every weekday at nine,
Now just sign right here on the line!
And...
PHOENIX/MAYA: I'll be there, and I'll watch your back.
Don't despair, I'm behind you.
MAYA: If I need a tightwad...
PHOENIX: Or I need a brat...
PHOENIX/MAYA: I'll know just where to find you!
MAYA: Through thick and thin, we'll shine the light,
PHOENIX/MAYA: A defensive, powerhouse pair!
PHOENIX: Okay, you win, you'll start tonight...
MAYA: I knew that you would make it right...
PHOENIX/MAYA: For truth and justice, we will fight--!
And for you, I will be there.
Now let's go celebrate with some burgers. Your treat.

SUBMIT CORRECTIONS