Here is a tale of a babysitting job.
The baby is something of a snob.
Stewie: Oh, go fuck yourselves!
So listen very closely and you'll find
That what they say is not the same as what's on their mind.
Haylie: Aren't you a cute little boy!
Look at that melon-shaped head.
Stewie: Having you here is a joy.
And in an hour, you'll be dead!
Haylie: Sit on my knee.
Please don't go poo!
Stewie: Nice place to be.
This one's for you.
Both: Babysitting is a bum deal.
Haylie: Why don't we watch Will and Grace?
Jesus, do I need a smoke.
Stewie: Jack puts a smile on my face.
Oh, what a surprise, a gay joke.
Haylie: I like your house.
The ceiling has cracks.
Stewie: I like your blouse.
Miss T J Maxx
Both: Babysitting is a bum deal.
And so they sat as time went by.
Haylie: As slowly as time could go.
The baby glared and softly cursed.
Stewie: Cause her lips and her skirt and her shoes and her hair made her look like a ho.
Haylie: Time for your bottle, my sweet.
This little brat smells like piss.
Stewie: Always a succulent treat.
While I suck that, you suck this!
Haylie: Aren't you a sight?
Look at him drool.
Stewie: You're a delight.
Damn you, you fool!
Both: Babysitting is a bum deal.
The diaper change was quite a job.
Haylie: The grossest I've ever seen.
The baby smiled and took a breath.
Stewie: And I grunted and pooped out a poop that looked something like Matthew Modine.
Haylie: Someday you might meet a girl.
Yeah, she's gonna be your right hand.
Stewie: Maybe it's you, my sweet pearl.
Darling, I'd rather fuck sand.
Haylie: Have a good night!
You little creep.
Stewie: Have a good night.
Die in your sleep!
Both: Babysitting is a bum deal.
Babysitting is a bum deal.
Haylie: So, you see, you got a really messed up kid here. I'd suggest you get him some help before it's too late.
Stewie: Gutter snipe!
Haylie: Freak! I'm out of here.
Lois: Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Haylie Duff.

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