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Handsome guys get girls that are pretty
Other guys make it cause they're clever and witty
But the only love I ever got I got out of pity cause I'm the ugliest man in town
Yeah I drive down the street in a Roys Rolls car
Use hundred dollar bills when I light my cigar
But you know folks that really don't get you very far
When you're the ugliest man in town
There was a note on the doorstep where I was found
Is said this poor child weighs eleven pounds
So bring him up healthy and welthy and sound
Keep his back to the light don't let him turn around
Yeah all you women you're heartless and cold all you want is my silver and gold
Don't you know I've got a beautiful soul though I'm the ugliest man in town
Yeah I'm so ugly I gotta shave in the dark
The kids start to cry when I walk through the park
The clock stop tickin' and dogs start to bark whenever I come around
Oh oh oh I walk down the street the girls all hiss me
If I died tomorrow not one of them would miss me
Only reason they ball me is they can't stand to kiss me
I'm the ugliest man in town oh yeah the ugliest man in town
- Album:
- Miscellaneous
- Living Off The Grid
- The Best of Shel Silverstein - His Words His Songs His...
- Drain My Brain (Digitally Remastered)
- Drain My Brain (Remastered)
- The Very Best of Dr. Demento
- Songs and Stories
- Where the Sidewalk Ends
- A Light In the Attic
- The Great Conch Train Robbery
- A Boy Named Sue
- Shel Silverstein (disc 1)
- Shel Silverstein (disc 2)
- Inside Folk Songs
- Jokers & Wildcards
- Paste Magazine Sampler #18: Oct-Nov 2005
- Dr. Demento 20th Anniversary Collection
- Great Conch Train Robbery
- Essential Folk Masters
- Singles, Plus