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I'm living in the uncertainty
of fairweather memories
constantly asking if I really remember
or if it's just from home movies
I'm absent minded, present but lifeless
and when I speak, it's nothing of substance
So I started drinking because I thought I had something to say
It just made me drunk and want to throw up
and I'm still awkward and I don't think that will change
I'm stuck in my ways, but that's okay
It's not that bad, I'm just sick of feeling like
I'm never in a solid state of mattering
You see right through me
You see right through me
I don't want to live in fairweather memories
I want to know it's more than home movies
and it fucking scares me
It fucking scares me
That I'm never in a solid state of mattering.