Stephen Lynch, Matthew Saldívar & Kevin Cahoon today you are a man

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There's a gift from every guest, today you are a man,
The cocktail franks have all been blessed, today you are a man,
Your goyem friends have been agog since they left the synagogue,
Drunk on Schnapps and in a fog and speaking Hebrew best they can-- L'chaim!
'Cause you're a man!
There's a waitress, dressed up like a go-go,
but remember shiksas are a no-no.
Go shake hands with, each Tom, di*k, and Herschel,
They'll be schvitzing and what's even worse,
you'll have to kiss your aunts, and watch a zany dance.
But remember this it could be ten times worse, at least it's not your bris! Your bris!
Today you are a boy, boy, boy
Boy, boy, boy
Boy, boy, boy...
Boy? No, a man! Ole!

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