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He looks upon the landscape of this ancient battlefield
He looks upon the horrors that Curiosity revealed
That endless goblin army, full of avarice and vice
He gently calms his battle steed, as he reaches ... for his dice
And he's a laser-printed hero, a figure cast in lead
And if you miss a dice roll, he may just end up dead
Don't forget about his back story, both family and foe
And if this is his last stand, well that's just how the story goes
ah, ah, ah
ah, ah, ah
He rushes into battle, with his fateful stoney gaze
Today he'll give no quarter, as he rushes through the haze
He spurs his great horse forward, as he wades amongst the horde
He leaves a trail of corpses, with is trusty, plus 3 sword
And he's a laser printed hero, no prisoners will he take
For he's deep into his battle rage, 'cause a roll you didn't make
His companions keep their distance, so they're not mistook for foes
And if he kills the healer, well that's just how the story goes.
ah, ah, ah
ah, ah, ah
And now the battle's over, his companions raise a toast
Unto this mighty hero who turned that Goblin host
He looks around the tavern, as he mutters what the heck
He approaches the half-elf barmaid, as he rolls to make his Charisma check
And he's a Laser Printed Hero, and if he has any luck
He'll impress that pretty half-elf, and have himself a nice good time
The details we'll gloss over, 'long with the sordid prose
And if she steals his jewels well that's just how the story goes.
ah, ah, ah
ah, ah, ah