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Student 1: So itâs gonna be like, you know, if you donât hand in your essays youâre not even gonna get a third.
Student 2: God heâs such a twat!
Student 1: I know, he thinks weâre still at school.
Student 3: Oh yeah, Iâve got this thing I wanna play you. Er. skin up, will you.
Student 1: Whatâs this?
Student 3: Itâs the Bluetones. Itâs just come out.
Student 1: No, I mean this.
Student 3: Er. I think itâs Moroccan. Yeah? What do you want?
Student 4: Yes sorry to bother you, but some of us actually have to get up in the morning. Can you turn the music down please. Thank you. Sleep tight.
Student 1: Yeah, Iâm gonna need something to lean on. Cheers. So then, whatâs the one thatâs got their hit on it?
Student 3: Which one?
Student 1: You know, whatâs it called? Slight Return.
Student 2: Thatâs the first album.
Student 3: Oh, I donât know that one. I only know the one that goes âyou donât have to have the solution, youâve got to invest in the problemâ.
Students 1 & 2: Yeah, thatâs Slight Return. Yeah.
Student 3: Is it?
Student 2: Yeah.
Student 3: Oh. I just thought it was called âYou Donât Have To Have The Solution, Youâve Got To Invest In The Problemâ.
Student 1: No.
Student 3: Oh.
Student 2: How you doing with that?
Student 1: Yeah, I need a lighter or something. Cheers.
Student 3: âAll this will fade away. âCause Iâm going homeâ. Yeah, I like that one.
Student 1: Whatâs this?
Student 3: I think itâs called Blood Bubble.
Student 1: No, this.
Student 3: Oh sorry. Thatâs my fake ID.
Student 2: You donât need fake ID, you look about thirty.
Student 3: Exactly. This gets me child fare on the buses.
Student 1: Oh my god, right! The other night, yeah, I was with Andy and Gerth. Completely forgot to tell you. And we got so caned, I was just like, âoh my god!â
Student 2: Oh yeah, right! Last night I was with Sebastian, and we got so caned I was just like, completely caned!
Student 3: Did you hear about Thursday?
Student 1: No.
Student 2: Why what happened?
Student 3: I went over to see Pierrs.
Student 1: Yeah?
Student 3: Yeah! And we got so caned. At first I was smoking, and then I was just like - go just completely caned! Oh my god. Oh my god! Youâve got like a Bag Puss video!
Student 1: Oh my god!
Student 2: Yeah, I know.
Student 1: Oh my god, let me have a look. Oh my god! This is like actual Bag Puss! Oh my god! This has got like Emily on it! And Professor Yaffle and the mice! Oh my god! âWe will fix it! We will fix it!â
Student 3: Oh my god, do you remember the Frumps?
Student 1: Yeah! Oh my god, do you remember Jamie and the Magic Torch?
Student 3: Yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah! Yeah, and the dog! What was the dog called? Oh my god, he had a dog! Iâm sure he had a dog!
Student 4: Right! It is now half past three, OK? Iâve asked you politely to keep the noise down, now I am telling you. Turn it off! I said turn if off!
Student 2: Chill out, man. It will be finished in a minute.
Student 4: Right!
Student 2: Donât touch me, you gay!
Student 4: Turn it off you bloody shit!
Student 2: Touch those decks man, I swear I will kill you!
Student 4: Youâre a bloody shit!
Student 2: Get off!
Student 4: Whatâs this?
Student 3: Itâs from Amsterdam, isnât it?
Student 1: No, itâs Moroccan.
Student 4: Is this what I think it is?
Student 2: All right, put that down!
Student 1: Yeah, bad form man, you donât touch a guysâ drop.
Student 2: I swear I will kill you.
Student 4: Oh! Butter fingers! Good night.
Student 2: I canât believe you just did that. I canât believe you just did that! Thatâs my pot, man! Iâm gonna kill you! Youâre dead!
Student 4: Oh yes, so while Iâm still alive Iâm gonna be making an appointment to see Paul OâPrey, and I will be suggesting as a matter of great urgency that you be given a transfer to another halls of residence. Good night.
Student 2: Big deal!
Student 4: Hmm, thatâs right. Thatâs exactly what it is - a big deal! Good night.
Student 2: I canât believe it man, that was nearly a whole eighth!
Student 1: Forget it, man. Come on, letâs get Kentucky.
Student 3: Oh my god! Oh my god, Iâve just realised! Youâve got Mr Ben as well!
Student 2: Oh, shut up!