What is it?
This? Uhh… it's a dinglehopper!
A what?
And a perfect specimen too. You're asking the right guy. I'm a dinglehopper devotee!
Say that you wanna have a hairdo
Like the folks who live up there do
That'll flap their wings
(Flap their wings) (Right) (Squawk)
Well you'll look absolutely dandy
If you use one of these handy
Little thingamajigs
(Thingamabobs) (Jigs) (Bobs) (Squawk)
Pick up a dinglehopper just like so
Twirl it the way I'm twirling now
Give it a little yank and there ya go
You're what they call the dogs meow
Wonderful stuff (squawk)
The human stuff
If you're a buff (squawk)
Of human stuff!
And we are the authority
No need for us to bluff
Because we're great at explainating
Human stuff
Okay gulls! Keep on some stuff!
What's this?
Hmmm. That's it!
A bandit…
...Bulbous...
Snarfblatt!
Snarfblatt?
Back when the world was prehistoral
People sat as still as coral
Flat upon their bumps
(On the rumps) (Bumps) (Squawk)
Then they would be not even thinking
Bored to death and barely blinking
Way down at the dumps
(On the dumps) (At) (On) (Squawk)
Then they invented snarfblatts just by chance
Suddenly life was la-di-dah!
Snarfblatts are what you use to make folks dance
Give it a blow and then, voilá
Wonderful stuff (squawk)
The human stuff
If you're a buff (squawk)
Of human stuff
It's markable
Stupendable
Complete A-OJ
Which sounds absurd
But take my word
That's what the humans say
Wonderful stuff (squawk)
The human stuff
If you're a buff (squawk)
Of human stuff
And since it's clear
You are my dear
We'll bring you up to snuff
Because you'll see
Our specialty is human stuff
This is called an Ottoman
It's used for serving soup
Now what is soup? Don't ask, okay
It tastes like chicken, so they say (squawk)
Stick your head in here
Slurp up the soup, get every bite
And then make sure to wring it out
So you can sleep on it at night (squawk)
This is called a boa
Worn at parties as a norm
But only in the summer
Cos it's thick but not so warm
It goes with this here necklace
This antique as you can tell
It's missing several carrots
But how ‘bout that smell?
Wonderful stuff
The human stuff
Can't get enough
Of human stuff
It's practical
Spectacticle
As they would say divine
We know because
We're connoisseurs
Whatever that may mean
Sensible stuff
The human stuff
None of it fluff
But human stuff
And heaven knows
Cos we're the pros
From us you'll get no guff
And when you use your Ottoman
Your necklace tied beneath your chin
Your boa wrapped around you like a muff
Don't ask!
With proper dinglehopper groomin'
Rest assured you'll look real human
We know cos we know
Human stuff

SUBMIT CORRECTIONS