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Itâs 2 a.m. and the castle is empty.
The roadâs a bit rough, but my feet donât mind.
Weâre miles away from the morning light.
Thereâs a cold war playing on my radio.
Iâve got a one-track mind, I think weâre two of a kind.
I wanna see your hair fall down.
Iâm gonna show you a real good time tonight.
Iâm the King of Uglytown.
Now, itâs Autumn time down in Uglytown.
The eiderdown unfolds.
All the crows are speaking in the branches,
In the backward bloom of Autumnâs gold,
The night comes early and the soldiers of fortune
Are standing on the corner of Hard Luck and Chance.
I broke the bank, I fixed myself up nice.
Iâm the King of Uglytown.
Pennies on the dollar, and the dollarâs on every single mind.
We wear our fevers on our sleeve down here in Caroline.
Itâs the fool and his money, the king and his crown.
We shoot âem all up and we drink âem all down, down, down.
Down here in Uglytown.
Uncle Sam is hurling rockets at the Moon.
Thereâs holes in my pockets, Iâm as crazy as a loon.
Itâs plain as day, yeah itâs come what may,
Down here in Uglytown.
While little baby Jake drinks the government milk,
His mother runs around in some hand-me-down silk.
Itâs honey and salt, itâs nobodyâs fault,
Down here in Uglytown.
Pennies on the dollar, and the dollarâs on every single mind.
We wear our fevers on our sleeve down here in Caroline.
Itâs the fool and his money, the king and his crown.
We shoot it all up and we drink it all down, down, down.
Down here in Uglytown.