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I'm going on a blind date
I'm doing a friend a favour
I hope she's not a horror
We'll have to wait and see
I'm slapping on my Old Spice, trying hard to look nice
Got my tonic suit on, I hope she fancies me
She got out of the taxi, she was a monster
A total eclipse of Sainsbury's
Tattoos on her tattoos, muscles on her muscles
She looked like the sister of Idi Amin
We're going to the pictures
I didn't have a choice
She put her arms around me
Her grip was like her voice
Shoo shoo time, what's the time, is it really half past nine?
Sorry darling, I'm going to have to go
I've got to get to Wandsworth, I'm meeting Terry Lawless,
Tonight I'm sparring with Frank Bruno
She got out of the taxi, she was a monster
A total eclipse os Sainsbury's
Tattoos on her tattoos, muscles on her muscles
She looked like the sister of Idi Amin
Geezer she's a monster
She's really not that bad
You must think I'm joking
You must think I'm mad!
I'll never ever take your word again
You do what you like
Are you going down the boozer?
I'll be there tonight
I'm going on a blind date
I'm going a friend a favour
I hope she's not a horror
We'll have to wait and see
I'm slapping on my Old Spice, trying hard to look nice
Got my tonic suit on, I hope she fancies me
She got out of the taxi, she was a monster
A total eclipse of Sainsbury's
Tattoos on her tattoos, muscles on her muscles,
She looked like the sister of Idi Amin