I was walking from a pub
When this thug hit me with a club
I screamed but he wouldn't stop
And I didn't see one damn cop
The only one that heard me shriek
Was a big green freak
Big, big green freak
I've done every test that exists
I've called every last office
And there is only one thing that I know
He is covered by yardage and mole
And my diagnosis is unique
You're a big green freak
Big, big green freak
Tromaville's in trouble
There's a monster in town
Welcome to New Jersey
We'll nail your balls to the ground
Your monstering of terror will come to an end
Your death will be announced on the news at ten
And I'll be interviewed on CNN
Yes, CNN
Well, the good news is that you're not dead
The bad news, that's one ugly head
Is there anything you can do?
Scientifically speaking, you're screwed
Hey, at least you've got a real nice physique
For a big green freak
Big, big green freak
So, this is how I'll be for all time
A freak of nature oozing slime
I guess there's just one thing to do
Find polluters and rip them in two
I'm no longer small and weak
I'm Melvin Ferd the third
I'm Melvin Ferd the third
The big green freak, the big green freak

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