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[Spoken:] OH! Hot, Hot damnit! Y'all pissing me off auent ya!
Now ya gone dunit! Everybody's getting socks for Christmas!
123 Go!
This isnât the same old Christmas story
Thereâs no bb guns or egg shaped plants
The mistletoe is hung way too low
And I think we gave too much eggnog to gramps
Everybodyâs being naughty; the nice list is pretty short
And the elves are passed out drunk on the floor
The Christmas carolers got a face full of snow
As we kicked them in the ass and shut the door
Now I donât think itâs going to be a happy holiday
'Cause everything is all screwed up,
And nobody wants to jingle all the way
Everybodyâs getting socks for Christmas
Everybodyâs getting socks for Christmas
Iâd rather have dad come home drunk
To punch me in the junk
Than getting stupid fucking socks for Christmas
All the children need to wash your mouth out with soap
The only words out of their mouth are FUCK!
Grandma she got ran over by a drunk driver
In the Toyâs are Us Truck
Now Santa cant take to the sky
Because all the reindeer got an F.U.I.
And Mrs. Claus knitted so many socks
That sheâs jamming tiny needles in her eye
Now everyone wants to take
But no one wants to give
And some kid melted all of Frostyâs snow
And the doctors donât think heâs gonna live
Everybodyâs getting socks for Christmas
Everybodyâs getting socks for Christmas
Iâd rather get the butterfly effect on VHS
Then get stupid fucking socks for Christmas
Ho ho! Let's go!
Everybodyâs getting socks for Christmas
Everybodyâs getting socks for Christmas
Iâd rather wreck the halls till the whole place falls
Than get some socks, Some stupid fucking socks
Nobody wants socks for Christmas!