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Mythical Frederick doesn't exist.
That's why he's got me so bloody pissed.
Clogged up the drain of my shower with hair,
I can't complain 'cause Frederick's not there.
Mythical Frederick ate all the jam,
Bought the wrong bread and bought the wrong ham.
I get so mad when things don't go right,
'Cause Mythical Frederick's nowhere in sight.
Frederick locked my keys in my car,
Got me in fights with toughs at the bar,
You've no idea what trouble I'm in,
From my imaginary evil twin.
Mythical Frederick skimps when he tips,
He kissed the vicar full on the lips,
I can't explain 'cause no one can see
Mythical Frederick did it, not me.
People believe in Santa, it's true,
The Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy too
Kids make up friends, so why can't you see
I've got a made-up arch-enemy?
Frederick got me fired from my job,
Brainwashed my girl to think I'm a slob,
I'll go insane 'cause Frederick, the louse,
Canceled the payments on my phone and house.
Out in the street, half-froze in the snow,
One act of vengeance before I go
I'll do him in, but he won't be missed,
Mythical Frederick doesn't exist.
- Album:
- In Concert WindyCon 2013
- Sound of Heaven
- Plugged
- Tom Smith and his Digital Acoustic Compilation
- Debasement Tapes
- The Last Hero on Earth: The 24-hour Project, Volume 2...
- Live at Ga-Filk 2001
- The Last Hero on Earth (Prerelease MP3 Pack)
- Laughter Is a Powerful Weapon, Volume 2
- The Last Hero on Earth: A Comic Opera
- Homecoming: Marcon 2005
- iTom 1.0: And So It Begins
- iTom 2.0: Transitions
- iTom 4.0: Smith and Legend
- Who Let Him in Here?
- Domino Death
- The Last Hero On Earth
- Live at LibertyCon 2010
- Live At ConTata 2011
- Live at DucKon 2010