Gather 'round!
Punch and Judy did it truly
And were married in a haste
In love, maybe, using the baby
As a kind of romance paste
She's grown fatter, her hair cut shorter
Looks much older than nineteen
He's a drinker, not a thinker
Baby spoiled his could-have-been
This must be make-believe
This must be make-believe
This must be make-believe
'Cos who do we know, dear, who acts like that?
Punch and Judy
Punch and Judy, in a semi
On a brand new council plot
Sunday lunchtime, beer-for-punch time
While his dinner's far from hot
She grows tired, cab is hired
She goes 'round to see her friend
He comes back late, fool is irate
We will see his temper bend
This must be make-believe
This must be make-believe
This must be make-believe
'Cos who do we know, dear, who acts like that?
Punch and Judy in a quandary
She's walked out and he is mad
Now he's grown up, can't smash home up
Retribution must be had
Punch and Judy had a baby
Who brought them to married bliss
Mr. Punch has drunken hunch
That he must punish kid for this
This must be make-believe
This must be make-believe
This must be make-believe
'Cos who do we know, dear, who acts like that?
Punch and Judy

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