[Part 1]
Hey, if you were a waitress then I would only be in bars
And if you were a dealer I would have lots of weed
If you weren't I have to go to the doctor every day for a pill
And if you were in a bad mood I would be in the ass every day
If you were a fag I would smoke one all the time
And I have to Plus, my life only consists of breaks
And if you were my couch I would never go outside again
And if you were teleshopping I would buy everything from you
And if you were a birthday, I would certainly be a clown
If you were bored, I would happily stand in traffic jams
And if you were a crime, I would be long already under construction
And I think if you were into girls I would be a woman
And if you were a city then definitely New York
You would be I would be a stewardess on board every day
If you were a BMX, sport would be on my calendar
And if you were religion I would be fat with the Lord
[2x Hook]
Hey girl, I just want you to know
I like you the way you are
And no matter what you'd like to be
I'm into anyone Case the guy who digs it
[Part 2]
Hey, if you want, go crazy like Shady's Wife
And if you were Bonnie, I'd be Clyde, what crazy life
And if you were in a club today it would be Ladies' Night
If you had a perm I would think the Eighties would be nice
Hey, if you were on Facebook it would be I got caught in the net
If you were an aria then this wouldn't be a chant
If you were my hobby then it would be what I do best
And what If you committed suicide, I'd be next. If you were a red-light district, I'd hang out in the residential area. If you were a porno, I'd have a mustache />If you were decadence, I would be the one who liked big sleighs
And if you were fast food, I would have such a big ass right now
(Ah) You would be one leak then I would sink
If you were self-praise I would stink bitterly
If you were the big sea then I would drown horribly
And no matter how small you were first I would find you sometime
[2x Hook]
Whatever... never mind...