Well, we just left the courthouse this morning
And the judge said we could go our separate ways
And everything we own must be divided
Just like the separation papers say
You can keep the curtains and the tables and the chairs
And all those dirty dishes in the sink
Well, you can take that golf club and the television set
And that lawnmower that's always on the blink
You can keep all the records and the hi-fi set
You can take that phony fireplace and the log
Now you keep the car, you keep the boat
And I'll take the dog
No, I'll take the dog, oh no, I'm gonna take the dog
Well, who's gonna bring me my paper
Who's gonna keep me company
You'll just have to give him up
No, I ain't a partin' with the pup, the dog belongs to me
Now hold on, Ray
You ain't gonna take this dog away from me
I'm the one that feeds him every day
And who always takes care of him when he's sick
Now wait just a minute, Jeannie, I guess that you forget
Who it was that always took him to the bed
Paid for all of them shots of seven bucks a lick
You can just forget about him, I ain't leaving you without him
Then you'll just have to stay, I guess that's the only way, okay
I'll give back the curtains and the tables and the chairs
And I'll wash the dirty dishes in the sink
And I won't take the golf clubs and the television set
And I'll fix that mower that's always on the blink
We'll both listen to the records on the hi fi set
By the fireplace with this gas burnin' log
We'll go ridin' in our car and we'll go sailin' in our boat
And we'll both take the dog, yes, we'll both take the dog
Come on, baby
(Huff, huff)