All my days
I live with my disgrace
I'm afraid to show my face
Or at least take off my underwear
See I was born
Like a half way neutered pet
I don't have a matching set
It's a part of me
That just ain't there
Please, don't stare
Well I'm a gambling man without two dice
I'm like Uncle Ben with only one grain of rice
Oh to have two testis would be so nice
But I'm half a man
Yeah, I'm half a man
Wanna die
end it all, just call it quits
I can't find a cup that fits
And at baseball games I feel so dumb
When I hear ball
one?
Oh, my God
How could you have been so cruel
To give me one family jewel
And the one that's there must feel so sad
He's a lonely man
Well I'm a marathon runner with just one leg
I'm a fallopian tube with just one egg
Oh, I want another testi
Do I have to beg?
I'm half a man
Well I'm a tweedle dee with no tweedle dum
And I'm a Siskel and an Ebert with just one thumb
And I'm a Yo Ho Ho with no bottle of rum
I'm just half a man
Yeah, I'm half a man
- :
- Lion
- 3 Balloons
- Miscellaneous
- A Little Bit Special
- Superhero
- The Craig Machine
- Exclusive (Live)
- Compilation
- Half a Man (A Demo)
- A Little Bit Special & Comedy Central Performance
- Live at the El Rey
- Sheer Idiocy 2002 House Mix 2
- The Wedding Singer (Original Broadway Cast Recording)
- Lion (Stephen Lynch)