Allison Crowe hold back

A collection of truths
strategically placed
a horde of mysteries and
some fears faced
a raging battle under
calm and serene
often saying what I think
but not often what I mean
I need to see
reality so I
know that it's not just a dream
and I lay my cards out
for everyone
but I never am quite what I seem
I hold back
take hold of dares
as though you're almost done
as if it's the last thing that you'll ever do
and I will always run because
a misguided guide I am
an ignorant lead
I never know what I want
but I'll tell you exactly what I need
and I see you smile
and it makes me nervous
and while I'm laughing the truth is
I don't know how to do this
i have no idea of what's okay
no matter who you are
but you'll never get to know
because I'll never get that far