Anacrusis killing my mind

Aware yet unaware
Falling, falling, why?
Blind, ignorance the key
Stupidity overrides
My thoughts belong to me
Although my mind rebels
Reality, shaded meaning
Denial is my cell, killing my mind
Victimize my own belief
Defy myself, find no relief
Obtrusive walls cannot reveal
Cast out myself and all I feel
My eyes refuse to see
All I must endure
Revealing walls of doubt
Reality so obscure
Searching, I'm searching
It's one who's deep within
Beside myself I stand
And now I must begin killing my mind
Victimize my own belief
Defy myself, find no relief
Obtrusive walls cannot reveal
Cast out myself and all I feel
The self inside is so sincere
Avoid the truth, the honest fear
Intensify all that remains
Bind it now with self restraints