Annie Bethancourt this time

I wish that I could say, with strong conviction
that I stood so unmoving in my position
of unceasing joy and abounding faith
at the touch of your hand and the sight of your face
But I was the one who stood in your grace
and walked away
And I only wanted to be free,
but now chains of solitude bind me
and they keep me from thee
So I will ask again to be at your side
And I pray that this time I abide,
for the only thing that keeps me from you is my pride
I fear that I cannot stand in this thrashing ocean
of my own will, piercing worry, and stubborn devotion
to my own life in my own way
my own words and not what you would say
But even though I turn you away, you stay
And I only wanted to be free
but now chains of solitude bind me
and they keep me from thee
So I will ask again to be at your side
And I pray that this time I abide,
for the only thing that keeps me from you is my pride
How can I be a vessel
when I am so shot full with holes?
And why would you even want me
when I won't let your mercy flow?
Holy Father, hold me in your hand
so the water that seeps through my soul
is somehow saved from escaping
and poured from your hands once more
For I only want to be free
so take this broken life from me
and bind it to thee
And I will ask again to be at your side
and I pray this time I abide
for the only thing that keeps me from you is my pride