Dot Nardoni
Tiffany Axelrod
Zoe Feinstein
Angelina Dellibovi
Bunny Doyne
Or, what's her name?
Mo Cristofaro
And Ellie Mazie Rosenthal's really well built
When Heather Levin stares at me
Why do I wilt?
I like when Julie Johnson
does splits in her kilt
Of these girls
Which should I invite to my bar mitzvah?
I've a problem to flaunt
I don't want the girls I should want
Batter up!
I want girls for whom I lust
Girls who wear a lot of make up
Girls who smoke and show their bust
Girls with whom I always wake up
Strike one!
Would they come though?
If they where invited
And not laugh at my hebrew
And not laugh at my father and his friends
Strike two!
Excluding them
I find exciting
And I'm left with them
I'll be inviting
Selecting girls for one's bar mitzvah
That's the miracle of Judaism
Strike three!
You're out
That'd be the miracle of Judaism