The Count has an eye on his ankle,
And lives in a horrible place.
He wants all your money, he's never at all funny.
He wants to remove your face.
And you might be thinking, What a romp this is --
But wait 'til you meet his accomplices.
When you see Count Olaf, you're suddenly full of
Disgust and despair and dismay.
In the whole of the soul of Count Olaf there's no love
When you see Count Olaf, count to zero...
Then scream and run away.
Scream, scream, scream, then run away.
Run, run, run, run, run, run, run,
Or die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die.
Run, run, run, run, run, run, run,
Or die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die.
Two women with powdered-white faces.
And one long nosed bald man with warts.
Things worsen and worsen, there's a hook-handed person
And others with nastier parts.
This evil and unpleasant group
Complete Count Olaf's acting troop.
The goal of Count Olaf is getting control of
The fortunes of urchins and orphans alike
I mean, horrors! Count Olaf is no laughing matter!
When you see Count Olaf, count to zero...
Then scream, and run away.
Scream, scream, scream, and run away.
Run, run, run, run, run, run, run,
Or die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die.
Run, run, run, run, run, run, run,
Or die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die.