Gentlemen!
Gentlemen.
A secretary is not a toy
No, my boy, not a toy
To fondle, and dandle, and playfully handle
In search of some purile joy
Noooooooo
A secretary is not
Definitely not
You're absolutely right Mr. Bratt
We wouldn't have it any other way Mr. Bratt
It's a company rule Mr. Bratt
A secretary is not a toy
No, my boy, not a toy
So do not go jumping for joy
A secretary is not
A secretary is not
A secretary is not
A secretary is not a pet
Nor an erect asset
It happened to Charlie McCoy
They fired him like a shot
The day the fella forgot
A secretary is not
She's a highly specialized decomponent
Of operational unity
A fine and sensitve mechanism
To serve the office community
With a mother she supports
And you'll find nothing like her at FAO Schwartz
A secretary is not to be
Used for play, therapy
Be good to the girl you employ
Remember no matter what!
Neurotic trouble you've got
A secretary is not
A secretary is not a thing
Wound by key, pulled by string
Her pad is to write in
And not spend the night in
If that's you plan to enjoy
A secretary is not
Is definitely not
Employed to do a gabot
Or you know what
Before you jump for joy
remember this my boy
A secretary is not
A tinker toy!