Decoder the giver

This is what I've always wanted for myself
And I feel so effortless in my voice
This is the life that I've chosen and I feel so lost
Oh, if he could take his eyes off of her
I thought we could make it all possible to reach
But I'll look somewhere else
And there was nothing left of the man I used to be
Loveless, there is nothing left
I left her somewhere, this was invisible
Everything's gray, nothing is sane
How did we end up here?
I was caught off guard
How could she leave me here?
I thought we could make it all possible to reach
But I'll look somewhere else
I will speak no more, I will try no further
I will shelter you from this life no longer
I won't be the last one, I won't be the last one
I thought we could make it all possible
I should have known this is what I've always wanted for myself