I bumped an empty shopping cart at the mall today
That set things in motion.
It creeped across the parking lot and gently came to rest
Against your front bumper.
You glared at me and asked if I knew what I had done,
As if I had just killed your Mother.
I said, “Golly! Big disaster!” cuz’ it looked OK to me,
I said I was sorry.
You said my apology was in-sin-cere,
You said I seemed sarcastic.
Chorus:
I’m Sincerely Sarcastic, and Sarcastically Sincere.
I’m sorry that’s not what you wanted to hear
I mean to be funny, it’s not funny to be mean
Why do we take things so seriously?
I’m sorry my apology was misunderstood
Please let me be more specific.
I’m sorry you’re pre-occupied with empty shopping carts
I’m sorry the parking lot’s not flatter.
Do mole hills turn to mountains everywhere you look?
I’m sorry your meds aren’t working
Let’s call 9-1-1, I’ll dial it for you
I’m sorry they’re not already here.
I’m sorry if the cops don’t see things your way
I’m sorry you have no sense of humor.
[Chorus]